So I thought it was about time to post some more stuff.
I‘m coming along pretty good, and all that jazz; blah bla- I FOUND A BOYFRIEND! And here I was a monthish ago crying over how I’m totally unlovable and how I’ll never find somebody that’ll like me that way, and BAM! Obviously, this is huge for me! Never been happier (well, I have. But, that’s a story for another time) and even though I still have down days, the not-down days are the absolute bomb.
Also, it’s getting easier for people to tell that things are changing… Just the other day, my mom was telling me about how she noticed that my boobs were getting bigger, and I just stopped for a moment and went, “How do you notice that? They’re supposed to be tiny, remember?” My face is nicer too, but that’s all a matter of perspective isn’t it? All I know is, I can’t walk by a mirror without going, “Wow, what an adorable person you are!” Either out loud or otherwise.
Oh wow. I just got back from Italy, and that’s not even the good times I’m talking about. But that was a great time! I might talk about it, but maybe not.
What makes this good times for me right now is the fading away of my ability to constantly hate the way I look. After a week away from most things, I looked in the mirror and realized some of the changes that have been progressing lately, and it made me so happy.
Even though I’m not really where I want to be, I can see that I’m getting there, and it’s not all impossible; and I can finally look at myself in the mirror and smile wide again.
Yes, I realize I haven’t posted in a while. No, I don’t particularly care that much.
A bunch has happened lately, or maybe it just seems like a bunch to me. But, it’s definitely a mixed bunch, if it’s one at all.
Firstly, a couple friends took me to a local punk show (the first I’d ever been to) and even though I started out super awkward and standing in the back; I soon got into it all and had a LOAD of fun! I had a sore Sunday the next morning, but that wasn’t so bad. Also made some plans and things that might be cool. I’ll post later about that maybe.
Secondly, my 18th birthday was last Monday, and meine Über Freunden threw me a birthday party on like, two minutes notice and turned it into literally the best birthday I have had in my entire life. I know I say this a whole lot, but it’s true: I LOVE MY FRIENDS MORE THAN ANYTHING.
Third, emotional breakdowns FTW. And by ftw, I mean ftl. Yeah, see the last sentence of the paragraph above. Today was one of those days, but when I got home I could look myself in the mirror and got back around to ooh-ing and ah-ing over my boobs and generally thinking I’m adorable again, so it’s not all bad. Again, friends are the best thing ever.
Lastly, I’m leaving for Italy very soon! I’m pretty excited about that, and I won’t stop mentioning it until I’m out of breath and my cheeks are pink from all the giggling I’m doing about it.
Anyway; There’s my longish comeback post. I’m going to have fun hiking tomorrow. I hope you have a wonderful day, and I love you!
I desparately need a job. I just found out that with my dosage increase, my medications are going to be costing an extra 20 dollars a month. That’s 20 dollars a month that I highly doubt my parents are willing to pay.